Could Mr Right be white?

This is an interesting news article on inter-racial relations.

How to tell if your Internet life is taking over

Finding that you've been kidnapped and tortured in order to give up your username and password to a popular online game.

Bruce vs Chuck

So, if Bruce Lee were to fight Chuck Norris...who would win?

Find out for yourself.



This scene is from Return of the Dragon

Chuck

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

The leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart Disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

For some more interesting facts about Chuck Norris, check out this link.

I need YOU....

to help classify galaxies.
This project is sort of like the Seti@Home project, except they harness the classification of the human brain. Just plug the electrodes into your skull, get online, and the rest they say is history...
Just kidding.
They put you through a small galaxy classification tutorial, and then they set you loose in helping classify galaxies. Part of the problem is they have millions of galaxies that have their picture taken, and not enough manpower to sort through all the pictures. If you're a science geek, then take a stab at it!

M$ protex me!

I encountered this error message today:

I'm glad SOMEONE is looking out for my computers well being!

Flight of the Conchords

These guys are pretty funny

Albi



Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenoceros (*edit: contains some mild bad language in case kiddies are around)


Jenny

World's Ugliest Dog

Read all about it here

Zoom It!

I found this really awesome little program called ZoomIt. If you ever do presentations on your PC, run this little puppy (only 100K or so), and it lets you zoom in on your screen and break into draw mode, so you can draw on your screen with your mouse.
Check it out

Agua de Coco

Folks,


If you ever get tempted to try some Agua de Coco, or Coconut Water...take some advice from your good buddy Wbobth. DON'T!!!!!


I had been intrigued for weeks by seeing the cans of coconut water on the shelves of the Hispanic section of the supermarket. Finally I gave in to the temptation, and bought myself a can of Coconut Water, which I assume that people actually drink as a beverage for enjoyment.


Some of the main ingredients are:


Young coconut juice


Sugar


Young coconut pulp





Not knowing what to expect, I poured myself a glass.









It looked like when the kids eat some white bread, then decide to take a sip of my water. Or it looks like when you leave milk in a glass too long, let it solidify, then pour hot water on it in an attempt to loosen the congealed milk on the bottom of the glass.
Anyway, strike one for Agua de Coco for looking nasty.
Strike two for Agua de Coco for being horrifically nasty. The kids actually took a sip before I did, but I was not persuaded by the nasty face they made since anything new they try is automatically nasty.
The flavor is not quite coconutty, but like nothing I can describe.
The only thing I can recommend is for you to buy a can of Agua de Coco yourself just after I told you not to.

Computer Maintenance 101

A few days ago our computer was experience some massive problems. It was experience really bad lock-ups. By a bad lock-up I mean the screen just froze. No mouse. Not CTRL-ALT-DEL. No Blue Screen. The clock even stopped. It would happen between 10 seconds and 5 minutes after the computer started.
At first I feared a virus or worm. Then I feared hard drive failure, or bad RAM. (Of course it has to be the hard drive...I haven't backed up for a few months...)
So I started in safe mode to rule out and bad device drivers. The computer didn't crash after an hour on, but the fan was going like crazy. We have one of those temperature sensitive fans that turns on when it starts to get hot.
Wondering whether or not it was hot, I rebooted into BIOS mode, and went to the section that told me the CPU temperature. Almost 70C (160F). I did a quick search on normal CPU temperatures, and I found the normal range was 30 to 50C.
I shut the computer off, and looked at the CPU fan. I could not see the cooling tower for all the dust.
I took the fan off, got out the vacuum, and vacuumed off the eighth inch carpet of dust from the CPU cooling tower (being careful not to touch any components inside the computer)
The computer has been fine ever since.

You try and tell the young people of today...

...and they won't believe you!

7 things

It seems I've been tagged.

So, here goes:
1. I used to live on a street called Garfield Avenue.
2. I happen to really like the Garfield cartoons.
3. We had gerbils, a turtle, fish, a snake, cats, a rabbit, a bullfrog, and an anole for pets when I was growing up. (Not all at once, of course)
4. The rabbit lasted a day because the cats ate it.
5. My pet names are very unoriginal (Boxy, Scales, Jumper and Anole). See if you can guess which animals belong to which names.
6. I vowed to never become a programmer.
7. I'm a programmer.

Now...who to tag next... I don't know 7 people who blog. So, anyone reading this and wants to do this, have at it!

Sticky Situation

If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation...it's probably not as sticky as this guy's.

Sandwich bags

I got video editing software for myself. Here is my lousy first attempt.

Wanna win a new puter?

Have some rusty C++ skills? Have no C++ skills at all?
Great!
Then submit an entry to the OMGWTF programming contest.
Where the goal is to write the bestest worstest code that actually sorta runs.
Winner gets a new puter.

Pancakes

Tonight I made some pancakes.
First, I followed the normal Bisquick recipe:
2 Cups mix
1 cup milk
2 eggs

I made a few of the pancakes normally (read: for the picky kids).
Then I experimented.
I warmed up half of an apple, skinned and chopped into cubes with a bit of brown sugar to taste in the microwave for 30 seconds.
I had prepared a cup of Tazo Chai in advance, because I was thinking on the way home how I was going to doctor the pancakes. I left it steeping in the bag for 5 - 10 minutes to get it good and strong.
I added half a cup of the strong Chai and the warmed apples to the pancake mixture, and cooked in a well oiled griddle to get the edges nice and crispy.

I topped with butter and syrup, and melted away in a sea of Apple-Chai pancake bliss.

Conspiracy? Nah! Never!

When I browse Microsoft's documentation website in IE, my page looks like this.


This is what it looks like in Firefox.


Also, you'll notice the different URLs. When I paste the URL into IE, it redirects me to the correct page. In FF, I get no such redirect. Methinks Microsoft doesn't want people reading their website with THAT browser.
Here's the URL if you want to try it yourself.

Watch out Geordi!

Scientists are working on a visor for the blind that will translate light into brain signals for you.



In other news, scientists have cracked the secret of Photosynthesis. Keep an eye out for green cars...literally. Perhaps in 20 years all we'll have to do is scoop some pond scum into the water tank on top of our cars for fuel.

Android Entertainment

Commander Data, having been newly outfitted with his human emotion chip, now knows exactly how to give maximum entertainment to the audience.






(OK...I'm obsessing over this Vitas guy. He is just so hilarious in his badness, yet obviously thinks he is the koolest kat on the planet. In this clip, he looks amazingly like Brent Spiner A.K.A. Commander Data without the makeup.)

Michael Jackson move over...

This guy sings sort of normally until about a third of the way through...
He would make a wailing banshee proud...

R U A L33T H4X0R?

See how far you get...

http://www.hackerskills.com/

So Artful...So Craftful...

This is the result of the dye marathon that I videoed the other day.








Ain't she talented?

The next Yo Yo?

Dyeing in Style

Here is me harrassing my wife as she tries to dye some fiber. And yes, I got permission (as though I'd need it...)

Snow Fly...Dont' bother me.

Looks like I'm not the only one surprised by the snow storm yesterday...

Russian Karaoke

This is my tribute to Vladimir Vysotsky. Find him on the Wikipedia here.
He was a dissenter during the Soviet era, and his rebellious song lyrics drew a large following.
He died at age 42 from liver disease.

Cool Photos

Photos that did not make the cut to be included in the Windows Vista wallpaper collection.

Apocolyptica

Gasp!
I'm in awe...

AArrrr! Toast on the High Seas

Arrr! Get ye grubby paws off me pirate toast!
Read ye here fir more infARRRRmation.
And I hope ye be readin GARRRRRman, or ye not be understandin!

Band

The Boy officially got promoted to the Advanced Band today. When I was talking to the band director when we first signed up, I expressed concern that the Boy would be bored. Slightly taken aback, the director said that there was only 1 4th grade drummer that he had ever promoted to the advanced band(6th graders).
When the whole band actually got together for the first time, we asked the Boy how it went. He went on to explain that there were 2 trumpets, 2 clarinets, a trombone, and 20 snare drums. We all howled. Apparantly the school district lets the students completely choose what instrument they want, and all the boys signed up for the drum. We were really looking forward to that concert...
The boy was also very frustrated, because he kept losing his place in the music, because NO ONE was playing in time, and it was too much for his brain to handle.
So, the advanced band players have already been playing for a few years now, and can sort of stay together.
I'll have to record the Boy telling this story, because I was rolling on the floor laughing when he described how the director was SHOUTING 1...2...3...4 to try to keep the band together with sheer will power. I think it takes a special kind of person to lead an Elementary band.
I'll keep you posted...

May I take your order?

One order of the explodescow son.



The lady will be having pig livings bowel, followed by some cowboy meat. Oh, could she get the small or medium bowl?


And for dessert, we'll add a peaceful.

JJA #5 - Basic Training

Well, I first have to start with one more thing that should have been included in the Reception Post.


My very first Army photo. They take this photo before you even get to basic training, which I find odd, because alot of people drop out, so it should really be a graduation photo. Not only that but some folks lose ALOT of weight in Basic Training, so the picture just becomes a reminder of the pitiful excuse of a human being you were before you got all strong and manly and fit.


Anywho, here it is.

(click to enlarge)
The thing I remember about this morning is that they woke us up around 5 AM, shaved our head, then lined us up for the picture. The other funny thing is that the dress uniform has velcro in the back, so I walked up to the photographer in my jeans (I hadn't even gotten my Army issue clothes at this point), they slapped the uniform over my torso, plopped a hat on my head, and took a snap.
If I recall, I actually tried to smile, because I was feeling grumpy from waking up so early. I guess it didn't help much.

Anyway, on to Basic Training.
In the movies, you see fresh recruits get off a bus, and start to get immediately harrassed by their drill sergeants. I don't remember (big surprise) my first contact. I don't think it was as explosive as the movies, though.
I had the unfortunate displeasure of having 3 drill sergeants. Most of the platoons had just 2, but our class was the last for one drill sergeant, and the first for another. So, to help the new drill sergeant transition in to his new role, they had him in a platoon where one drill sergeant was "retiring".
Being a drill sergeant is a very tough job. They have to be up and perfect when they wake you up at 5 AM, and they are with you until 9 or 10 at night. The standard rotation for a drill sergeant is 2 years. Generally, the Army singles out people it thinks would do well in the position, and asks them to go through the Drill Sergeant school. Yes, there is a school for it. You have the option of refusing, but the refusal goes on your record, and it's not good for your career. Also, drill sergeants get a cool little patch that they can wear on their uniform for the rest of their Army career, so you can readily pick out the people who are or who have ever been a drill sergeant.
Back to BT.
One of the DSs was from Trinidad. This was bad, because no-one could understand his instructions. He would shout something, then we would look at each other in a panic, and start doing just something so we wouldn't look like we weren't trying. Also, it was only several years later that I actually learned the correct words to the cadences he would sing. We just mumbly shouted whatever syllabic approximations we thought he said without actually understanding anything. It was quite humorous.

Anyway, one of the first things they had us do was to learn their names. I remember we were in the barracks, in the "front leaning rest position" (that is basically the up position of a push up, except you just stay there not doing push ups) trying to shout their names in unison. Now, we couldn't all see each other, because there was a row of lockers in the middle of the barracks bay, so we just had to coordinate and eventually say their names in unison, loudly. I don't remember how long it took for us to get it. This was just the first of the mental torture devices they imposed on us.

More next time.




PS
Before you ask...no, its not done yet.

The light at the end of the tunnel

The painting is finally done. All of the cleanup is done as well. The living room has its final set of furniture. Now all that's left is to reorganize everything that we dumped on the dining room table to clear out the living room. That and hooking up the TV. I hope I remember how, because it was quite complicated. Well, at least we can sit on our couch in the living room, that the table is clear enough for the the kids to have breakfast. Time for these paint spackled hands to go to bed. And yes, its really 1:15 Monday morning.
Yawn.

The mice again...

No, this isn't about our cute mouse, its about our pesky mice.
After my last round with the mice, I still heard scritching.
I set traps, and I set out the big glue boards, but the mice were too smart for me. I heard scritching without seeing dead mice in my traps.
Just this past weekend, I bought glue trays (as opposed to boards) with some mouse bait already in them. The bait were these little seed looking things.
I caught 4 mice in 2 days.
I haven't heard anymore scritching.

Ikea

I know, the Mrs already blogged about it, but I have to give my take. I was totally impressed with the whole shopping experience. I can't believe I am going to say this, but when I walked in, I actually WANTED to buy furniture!
They had happy music playing.
We could check our kids into the playland so we could shop unhindered.
They had little pencils, paper, and tear-off rulers everywhere so that you could write down what you wanted.
They had pre-done demo rooms that you could walk through, and see how an all Ikea room would look.
And my favorite part...food. I didn't get the name "Chow Boy" in the Army for nothing. I really like my food.
They had a little cafe where you could get some Swedish meatballs with gravy and Lingonberry sauce. They had a store where you can take home a taste of Sweden.
It was their attention to detail not only in the shopping experience that impressed me so much, but it was also the attention to detail in putting the furniture together.
Everything fit. Perfectly.
No wiggling or jiggling. It just fit together like it was supposed to.
So, we are definitely going back.
The only thing I found mildly unsettling was keeping the Swedish names for everything.
So I found myself talking about Billy and Tromsö and Malm.
Whew! I think that should catch me up on blogging!
P.S.
I know two Swedish tongue twisters. I met a girl from Sweden, and she taught me two of them. I have this habit of forcing foreigners to teach me a tongue twister in their language. Perhaps that will be the subject of a future blog post...

Walk like a dolphin

Go here to buy one for yourself. I think they will only set you back 80 grand.

Tree Goats

These guys are for real (that is, not photoshopped). I guess there were no mountains around to climb.

If you...

If you give a woman an entertainment center, she'll want to get rid of the bookcase that the TV is sitting on.
If she gets rid of the bookcase, she'll want to buy new bookcases to put the books on.
If she buys new bookcases, then she'll want to reorganize the whole living room.
If she reorganizes the living room, she'll want to get rid of another couch, and the other bookcase.
If she gets rid of the bookcase and couch the living room, there is no longer space to hide art supplies behind.
If she needs a place to put her art supplies, she'll want to reorganize her art room.
If she reorganizes her art room, she needs to move an old desk and give it to The Boy.
If she gives the desk to The Boy, she needs to buy a loft bed, and a larger dresser, and bookshelves.
If she buys furniture for The Boy, she needs to clean the basement to put some of his old furniture.
If she cleans the basement, she needs to move the drum set.
While cleaning the basement, she finds some paint to repaint the living room.
If she paints the living room, she'll want to take down the old brown paneling cleverly disguised as a blue wall.
If she takes down the brown paneling, she'll want drywall to cover up the crappy plaster wall that the brown paneling was diguising in the first place.
If she needs to drywall the wall, she'll need to move the piano.
If she moves the piano, then she can move the couch.
If she moves the couch, then she can paint the new entertainment center.
If she paints the entertainment center, then she can put the TV on it.

And you wonder why I havent blogged on my vacation :)
(Credit goes to Laura Numeroff for the "If you give a" line.)