Fighting Army Style #4 - Caption Competition

OK, blogosphere! I need YOU to come up with a good caption for this one.





A couple of my ideas:
1. Soldiers outfitted with Depends for when they crap their pants in battle.
2. Brave soldier given task of cleaning Cyclops ear with specially designed Q-Tip.
3. Here's the body armor our troops should be using.

Fighting Army Style #3

Kick em in the uh-uh!


1. While your opponent is flying in the towards you with his awesome HIIIYAAA flying side kick, calmly catch his foot.
2. Kick him in the uh-uh.


1. Stand in your stupid side guard position.
2. While your opponent is staring off into space, telegraph your intentions with a really big windup.
3. Hopefully your opponent does not notice the trajectory of your foot going towards...
4. Kick him in the uh-uh.
5. Laugh and gloat as your opponent doubles over in pain. Good job soldier.

1. While your opponent is standing in the stupidest position possible with a bayonet pointed at YOUR uh-uh...
2. Single handedly grab his rifle while he does nothing to prevent it.
3. Continue to stand there with one hand on your opponents rifle confident that he cannot get away from your steely grip. Laugh to yourself knowing what you are about to do.
4. Kick him in the uh-uh.
5. While your opponent is stunned, go for the ultra-deadly kick to the knee.

Fighting Army Style - #2

First, we need to continue to learn how to stand before we go on to more advanced moves.

Right and Left Guard.
(BTW, you can click on the pictures to get the full sized view)


This text is taken verbatim from the manual:

Football Kick
a. Objective and use. The object of the football kick is to deliver a powerful kick to a vulnerable area anywhere on the body. It is used best when the opponent is on the ground but not close enough or in the correct position for a heel stomp. (Heel stomp described below.)
b. Description.
To deliver the football kick step close to your opponent, facing him.[ed. best not done backwards]
Plant your non-kicking foot firmly so you can maintain your balance.
When you kick with the other foot swing it to the rear and bend the knee. As you swing the kicking foot forward from the hip, straighten your knee and keep the foot close to the ground. The toe is pointed toward your opponent for maximum force.
Snap the leg forward as if kicking a football.


Heel Stomp
Objective and Use.
The purpose of the heel stomp is to dull the opponent's senses by a blow to the head or other vital area. This stomp is used best when the opponent is lying on the ground.
[ed. Who woulda thunk it? The Army is telling us to kick them while they are down.]
Description.
To execute the stomp you must be standing over the portion of the body you wish to stomp. Pull the knee up and flex the ankle as much as possible. To stomp, straighten out the knee forcefully, striking your opponent with the back edge of the boot. Attempt to drive your heel into the ground to insure that the full force of the kick is delivered to your oppnent.

In the full sized pitcures, notice the little ouch marks they put on the guys face.
Thats all for now!

Fighting Army Style - #1

We shall learn how fight - Army Style!!
When I was still in the Army, our unit was doing some house cleaning, and we came across an old manual on fighting dated from 1971.

The pictures and descriptions are rather humorous, so I will share the hilarity with everyone.

First, we need to learn to stand correctly.
Here is the Front Guard position.


If I stood like this is a real fight, I would get my butt kicked.